Oneness with the Universe Through the Toad Medicine

By Rafael Meneses, Venezuela

OTAC, el sapito (the little toad): that's how I met the entheogen derived from the secretion of the glands of the Bufo Alvarius toad. It contains 5-MeO-DMT and Butofenine (5-HO-DMT), considered one of the most potent psychedelics in the world; some say six times more potent than the DMT found in the ayahuasca brew. I didn't know that beforehand!

My name is Rafael and I'm a Yopo (5-Meo-DMT) and Jurema (DMT) facilitator. I’m also an explorer of psychedelic plant medicines and their effects.

I was keen to meet El Sapito (the little toad)

It was December 2015 and I was just starting my exploration of ancient plant medicines, starting with ayahuasca. I already had tried Santo Daime, Kambo, Xananga, Rapé, Mambe, Ambil and Kambo. But there were talks of a smoked medicine called el sapito (the little toad) that was incredibly intense and healing. I had been interested since the first time I heard about it, and there were rumors that the shaman from Mexico was coming to Venezuela that season.

When finally I contacted the guy he told me very dryly that all ceremonies in Venezuela were already full. Oh! That was bad. But being as stubborn as I am, I talked to the people of the medicine house were the ceremony was going to be hosted and told them that if anybody dropped out I was very interested in taking the medicine. Well, the days passed and on December 23rd I got a call from my friend Naemys, the owner of the house. He told me that I had a spot on the ceremony the next day.

It was Christmas Eve and I was happy about getting the spot. I got the money, took a bath, started my car and at 9am I was heading for the place.

The ceremony was to be filmed for a documentary

When I got there, the ceremony was almost starting. I got handed a form on which I put my data, and was asked about what drugs and medicine I had tried so far. There was also a disclaimer liberating Dr. Octavio Rettig from any responsibility over what might happen in the ceremony. This is serious, I thought after signing the consent form, which also allowed me to be recorded on tape for a documentary on said medicine.

Next I got to meet Dr Octavio, a tall Mexican man with long hair and a beard - the toad medicine shaman. His energy was very strong, but I felt at ease. In his story, he had been healed from heroin addiction with this medicine. He then gave it back to the Seri tribe (who had lost its use) and in return they gave him their sacred chants.

The ceremony was not like an ayahuasca ceremony

There were several differences from a regular ayahuasca ceremony; firstly it was run during the day, and secondly each person was individually attended to, one by one. I was given the third spot.

After watching two people come and go it was finally my turn. I was instructed to stand looking at the sun and to smoke all that I could from the glass pipe containing the crystallized secretion from the toad glands; I was to retain it as long as I could stand to. I went in with total confidence. took a huge drag and held it for what seemed like forever!

On breathing out the smoke, the trip started instantly

The trip started almost instantly. I remember watching the sun become a point and then disappearing into black. A really intense humming started to grow all around me and I couldn't help but feel that it was the universal OM dissolving me, Rafael, and my normal perception.

After the vibration peaked I (the me part) exploded into the universe. I was watching a galaxy, but I felt that I was the galaxy - the emptiness, the vastness of the universe. After a while (which seemed like forever) watching the universe, I was transported into a sea of energy. It felt like being immersed in an overwhelming sea of pure, pink love. I think I experienced what is called a universal orgasm on medicine.

Soon afterwards, I started coming back and focusing on the people that were there - my friends. I came back with an intense feeling of wellness and just one idea in the me mind that was slowly returning: we are one. Those were my first words after the trip. I truly experienced oneness during that trip and it changed me forever.

I knew oneness, but Integration took some time

It took me three months to integrate this experience into my life; it had really broken the framework of my world so far. It transformed me in one go; an intense trip which ripped me from my reality and showed me the unity of the universe.

It has been one of the most intense and transformative experiences of my life so far, and I am grateful to Dr. Octavio Rettig for sharing this medicine with me and taking care of me on one of the most delicate trips of my life. Would I recommend it? Absolutely! It changed my life for the better, but nevertheless is an intense experience that one should go into with a light heart and the utmost respect.

Axatipe.