Polarities in the DMT Realm: Beware of Becoming Food for Dark Spirits

By Christopher, Sweden

What I'm about to tell you now is real, and I ask that you listen with your heart and not your mind. This problem started in March 2018 during an ayahuasca ceremony. I’m no stranger to ayahuasca and have had many beautiful and profound experiences that made me realise many important things.

However, it has to be said that this is not the only possibility and I am living proof of that. The ceremony that has really changed my life – and not for the better - was my 15th ceremony, and as I was having amazing ceremonies with beautiful visions up until then, I didn’t see this coming. 

Past lives, the occult and secret societies

Throughout my early ceremonies, as I was opening up myself more and more to the spirit world, I started seeing these spirits with serpent eyes and sharp teeth. I now curse myself for ever having been fascinated with the occult; I curse every fucking vampire movie and anything I've ever seen that normalised them and even fascinated me, because I didn't turn away from them then and there.

I entertained them and interacted with them, unaware that it would turn my life upside down. Apparently I've had past lives where I dabbled in occult stuff and secret societies and it seems something attached to me in one of them. That something hadn't bothered me until I started drinking the powerful Amazonian brew Ayahuasca, and I suspect that's because I must have closed myself off when I was a kid, because I remember seeing serpent eyes as a 4 year old and it scared me quite a bit.  

The spirits appeared 3 months ahead of my ayahuasca journey 

3 months prior to my journey in Peru, I started seeing them. I have no clue why, but my guess is it could have been the medicine working on me in the future and affecting me 3 months in the past. I was on Crete at the time working as a customer service representative for a Swedish company when I began seeing them, like etheric beings flying around me.

I could only make out their human-like shapes and their wings, and as at the time I was utterly naive, I assumed they were guardian angels of mine. So it seems these things have been with me for quite some time.

My first cup of ayahuasca triggered psychic abilities

After my first cup of Ayahuasca early in the February, my psychic abilities and my vision exponentially opened up and along with it I became hyper sensitive to energies and the spirit world. My first 15 ceremonies were beautiful; abuela was showing me many things about myself and my destiny.

I was visited by all kinds of spirits in my ceremonies. I could see in great detail animal spirits, Egyptian and Hindu gods, Native American spirits. One time Ayahuasca herself along with grandfather Huachuma (the spirit of the San Pedro cactus) came up to me at the same time and gave me a kiss on each cheek. I was really being blessed by the spirit world.

The visions were unbelievably beautiful. Things were looking bright for me. In my trip to Peru I had originally intended to learn more about shamanism and my dream was to eventually become one. I've always felt I had a great purpose, and I was also always drawn to mysticism… but then I somehow managed to throw it all away in a horrible fashion.

I fell into the trap of the dark spirits

Around my 12th ceremony, I was really starting to do some good work on myself and the medicine was working with me more and more. Yet at the same time I had become intrigued with these other, darker spirits and I was very stupid back then, so I kept on interacting with them.  

Soon they started doing sexual things, like showing their breasts, with lusty expressions and having sex with the only male in their group. I let it go on, and slowly my focus shifted and narrowed on them. I had fallen into their trap and I practically welcomed it… I was overcome with lust. I've always been extremely passionate; I've no idea where it comes from, but in any case I was child's play for them.

I started to sexually interact with them

At first I would beg them to interact with me sexually. They didn't comply immediately, but I kept pushing until they started pleasing me and I was so overcome with lust that it was like a drug I couldn't get enough of. I would excuse myself from everyone else and hide away in my room during daytime to engage with them in secret. Yet this wasn't the worst thing I did.

On my 15th ceremony I drank the cup with the intention of having intercourse with them, and I would continue to do so like a heroin addict for a good few ceremonies. That 15th ceremony was when I probably ruined any trust and relationships with the other spirits - even Ayahuasca herself - by giving in to lust like an obsessed person.  

Ayahuasca cast me adrift and the feeding started

I never had the same effects when I drank Ayahuasca after that. Eventually the price of interacting with them manifested, and they would start feeding off of me. The early stages were nothing compared to what I'm experiencing now.  

First it was my arms and hands, sometimes my head but nothing as grave as what I am feeling even right now as I'm typing this. When they were feeding on my arms, I'd completely lose the sense of touch in them. Now I'm just in constant pain and feeling disgusting, creepy sensations going on.

So here I am today, almost a year later and it has just been getting worse. It has completely been my own fault... I admit that, and I'm ashamed to have been so weak as to give into something like lust. I probably deserved all of it but I can't continue living like this. I'm in so much pain and I'm getting increasingly aggravated, I feel like I could snap any moment and can’t even focus. I'm being eaten alive by spirits on a daily basis and I’m about to lose it.

The shamans cannot help me

No shaman has been able to help me - I've had 4 different ones working on me and 2 of them were supposedly rather powerful. I suspect they simply didn't want to put the effort in because I imagine that exorcising them would have required a great deal of effort, and I was invited in that ceremony for free by the centre owner, so they might not have felt any incentive.

The last 3 days have been the worst ever so far. It's like I'm being eaten alive, it's hard to describe the pain but it's a disgusting feeling. All over my body, mostly my chest and my head, but also my stomach, I can feel weird shit going on. The most horrid feeling is when they're feeding on my chest, it's like I can feel them biting into my spirit and eating it, it feels like a cold burning sensation and it hasn't stopped for the past 3 days. I feel really desperate and I really need help.

I am home in Sweden now but I was in Peru for 8 months and got back in early December 2018. Since then it's progressively been getting worse. Thank you for reading all the way to here, and I hope that this can serve as a warning to those who enter other realms through these powerful medicines. We are not alone out there and there are no guarantees about what can happen - there are real risks involved and it pays to be very aware of this. Just please remember to never, ever interact with spirits who are anything other than of service to others. Always be on your guard when it seems that they are not.